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Barnyard Blitzkreig

GARTH BROOKS NOT INCLUDED.

[We open with a long, sweeping helicopter shot of "The Barnyard", Nebraska. (A subsidiary of "The Dome, Ltd.") Wrestling rings have been erected in a pasture, a cornfield and inside a barn. There is also tiered seating surrounding a henhouse. A cheesy rock band, on loan from the Stereo Type Wrestling Federation is mangling "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" on a raised stage near the barn. The shot ends as we sweep over the annouce table. We cut to Sammy "Sellout" Smith and Scotty Whatbody, who are franticlly trying to retrieve their papers, which were blown off the desk by the helicopters downdraft.]

SSS: Hello everyone and WELCOME! To BARNYARD BLITKRIEG!

SW: Well, shucky darn and slop the chickens, Sammy, we're gonna have a hoe-down tonight!

SSS: I have no idea what you just said, Scotty.. but that's not unusual. First off, let's introduce our guest commentator, Hall-of-Famer, Boogie Woogie!

BW: Ooooooow, YEAH! Shake it and Bake it, but dontcha dare Fake it, brother!

SSS: No, didn't understand that, either.. But anyway, welcome to the show, Boogie!

SW: So he DOES exist.. and I thought he was just a cheesy composite of aging wrestlers...

SSS: Well, tonight should be a spectacular night! We've got The Domino versus SMP in a Cow Pasture Hoe-down for the "NQGETBWC" title! The team of Mike "The Hammer" Collins and "Cold Stone" Steve Roberts defend against the Fumbuckers! Birdboy versus Kamikazie Ken... Title for Title! And of course.. NURSE HEIDI gets NAKED!!!

SW: If she loses to J.C Brawley that is..

SSS: *ahem* oh, yes.. of course..

BW: OWWWWWWWW MOMMA! That's what I'm here for!

SSS: But first of all, we have a BONUS match! So let's go to our ring announcer, Bubba!

Bubba: Ladies and Gentlemen.. this is the opening contest of Barnyard Blitzkrieg!

[He pauses to avoid being drowned out by the crowd.. yeah, we've got a capacity farmyard here!]

Bubba: Introducing first.. weighing 140 pounds... EL JABORONIE LOCO!

[A speed metal version of The Mexican Hat Dance is played as Loco sprints down to the ring. Pretty good pop for Loco.]

Bubba: And his opponent.. weighing in at 414 pounds.. THE MIME!

[The crowd is treated to the awesome sight of the Mime attempting to sprint to the ring. More hilarity than pop.]

BW: WHHOA, BABY! This aint fair! That little guys outweighed by a couple of hunnert pounds!

SW: 271 to be exact, Boogie! The Mime sure is a .. *ahem*.. 'Giant' all right.

SSS: El Jaboronie really does have a mountain to climb.. metaphorically AND literally!

SW: Ha ha ha.. what?

SSS: Never mind. Bell's gone, this one is under way! Loco cartwheels across the ring and runs straight into the Mimes outstretched boot! OH! A 400 pound elbow! And another! Loco's in trouble already! A whip to the ropes! The Mime drops his head.. and pays for it! Great double arm DDT by Loco.

SW: Loco's going to have to use his quickness here!

BW: No shit Sherlock..

SSS: Loco bounces off the ropes for a split-legged moonsault! Covers.. and a powerful kickout from the Mime! He drags Loco to the corner..

BW: WHOOOO!

SSS: ..for a series of..

BW: WHOOOO!

SSS: ...chops. Are you going to..

BW: WHOOOO!

SSS: ... do that every time someone does a chop, Boogie?

BW: Yup. I invented it!

SSS: Super. Whip to the opposite corner by the Mime. Loco leaps onto the buckle and .. MOONSAULT! Just missed, though! And.. OH LORD! The Mime is going up.. he's attempting the Moonsault, too!

CRUMP!

SW: Pankcakes anyone?

SSS: Loco looks to take control after that thunderous miss by the Mime! Drop-kick! Spinning heel kick! Ch..

BW: WHOOOO!

SSS:..op. Loco to the top! Leaping head-scissors takedown! But the Mime is too bottom heavy to use that move on! Loco ends up dangling around his neck like a piece of cheap jewelery! And the Mime starts a giant swing! Around and around he goes! Loco getting hurled outwards by the centrifugal force...

SW: EVERBODY DOWN!

BW: WHOOOO! That boy nearly took yo head off, Sammy!

SSS: I got of lightly compared to the people in the front row, Boogie! Loco struggles out of the rubble! What a competitor! He doesn't know when he's beaten! He doesn't know when he's winning either! He has no working sensory apparatus whatsoever!

SW: Albatross!

BW: Say Whut?

SSS: The Mime drags Loco back into the ring.. Scoop.. and a thunderous sidewalk slam! Can Loco kick out??? 1..2.. 3!

SW: No.. no he can't.

SSS: Well so much for that angle then..

Bubba: Here is your winner.. THE MIME!

SSS: Well, what a spectacularly pointless opening match that was! But without further ado, lets go straight back to Bubba for our next match!

Bubba: What? I was expecting a commercial or something.. ummm.. oh, look, there's the Pissed teens.. and here comes D.D.U and D.D.S.. must be a tag match or something..

SSS: Thanks for that, Bubba.. Well, the DD's making their first appearance in the WWF here at Barnyard Blitkrieg. How will they fare against the former tag Champs, the Pissed teens.

Mike: Uhhhh.. like, where's Nurse Heidi. Isn't she gonna get, like.. naked and stuff?

Tim: Yeah! Yeah! Where is she? Huh? Huh?

SSS: That's later you idiots! OH! D.D.S and D.D.U attack the Teens from behind! A big haymaker sends Mike down to the mat!

SW: Well, if there's anyplace to use a haymaker..

BW: It's right here at Barnyard Blitkrieg, Bay-beee! WHOOO!

SSS: That's really getting annoying, Boogie.. Tim is tossed over the top rope by D.D.S! Some double teaming now! Spiked Powerbomb! A couple of leg-drops! Mikes in a world of hurt! Tims getting back up again.. he's on the apron! But a baseball slide from D.D.U knocks him back down. D.D.U follows Tim out to the floor. D.D.S is working over Mike in the ring..

SW: Look out! D.D.U has a chair! WHAM! He just waffled Tim with it! SupeRef never saw that! And again! Tim is down! D.D.U places the chair over Tims face..he's going up to the top!

SSS: I can't look!

SW: OH!! Leg-drop from the top! Right onto the steel chair! Tims own mother won't recognise him after that!

BW: Awwwww, yeah! That's takin' it to them! Hardcore, Baby!

SSS: Mike fighting valiantly in the ring.. but he's taking on two men.. SupeRef trying to get one of the D's out of the ring.. Double neckbreaker! Double back body drop!

SW: Double Jepoardy for Mike!

SSS: Supes has had enough! He's calling for the bell!

SW: The DD's just Ddont care! The ddoing a number on Mike! Ddirty, rotten cheaters, ddudde!

SSS: Do you have to do that, Scotty?

SW: Do what?

SSS: Mike is still getting pummelled in the ring. Tim hasn't moved since that leg-drop! Security is finally on it's way to break up this mugging. A DQ win for the Teens, but they paid for it, big-time!

BW: OWWW! Have mercy!

SSS: Sure, Boogie, whatever.. Well.. let's head back to Bubba for the most-eagerly anticipated non-title match of the year!

Voiceover: It's TIME! It's TIME! It's PUPPY TIME!

[The massed fans go absolutly nuts. The "J.C" chants starts up.]

Bubba: Ladies and Gentlemen! This is the LOSER STRIPS Match! Introducing first, weighing a svelte 119 pounds, from Phoenix, Arizona.. representing Club Med, NURSE HEIDI!

["Centerfold" by the j. geils band plays as heidi walks down the aisle. she stops by the steps and sheds her robe, revealling a studded leather bikini. the crowd reaction can be heard three counties away. ]

BW: Whooo! I'd job to her, anyday!

Bubba: And her opponent... the manager of the Barbados Skanks.. J.C Braaaaawly!

[The pop increases as J.C. runs down to the ring to the sound of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones "The Impression That I Get". (which isn't J.C or the Skanks music, but I happen to think it's a pretty cool song. Sue me.)

SSS: Well, the crowd is right behind Brawley in this one! And with the stakes this high, who can blame them!

[The director gives us a sweeping pan of the rabid fans. three muscular women with flattops in the front row are leading the "J.C" chant.]

***bell rings

SW: And here we go!

BW: Woooooooo!

SSS: Settle, guys, settle! They lock up.. hammerlock from Brawley.. reversal from Heidi! Reversed again by J.C! Heidi does that little hands-free-head-flipping escape that Owen Hart was so great at! She scoops brawley up! Slams him to the mat!

BW: That little ladies gots the moves!

SSS: Standing splash! Covers.. But just a one count! Brawley grabs a handful..

BW: Whooo!

SSS: ...of hair. A snapmare by the hair! That's gotta smart!

SW: C'mon J.C.! Take control of this!

SSS: Heidi rises.. Brawley with a snap suplex! Nice move! Slingshot to the buckle! Heidi's playing with the big boys now!

BW: Aw, he aint that big.. now me, I go about eleven and a half..

SSS: Whoa! Sorry to interupt, but did you see that move by Heidi?

BW: Nope.

SW: Me either.

SSS: Damn. I wonder what is was? Anyway, Heidi has J.C. in a body scissors! Look at the pressure she's exerting with those thighs!

SW: I'm looking, I'm looking!

SSS: Brawley makes it to the ropes. Heidi drags him back off the middle rope! J.C's head bounced off the canvas with a resounding thud! stomp to the midsection! Oooh! A south-of-the-border kneedrop! the male fans cringe at that sight of that one! And Heidi's going to the top! What will she do here? 450 Heidi-splash! 1..2..no! Brawley gets the shoulder up! Do you believe the intensity here?

SW: C'mon J.C! Let's go! Yeah!

SSS: Great move by Brawley, hotshotting Heidi on the top rope! Asashi moonsault! Covers.. but Heidi kicks out at 2! Brawley to the ropes.. famouser! This should be it!

SW: Hold the phone! Here comes the cavalry, baby!

SSS: It's the Ambulance Jockeys! They're on their way to the ring.. but who are they coming out to help? You know both these boys want to see Heidi strip! Will their stable loyalty win out over their raging hormones? SupeRef breaks the count and heads over to stop them interfering! Brawley is still covering heidi! I've already counted to eight! This one should be over!

BW: Hey, whos dat comin' outta the stands?

SSS: It's the fumbuckers! They're in the ring! And the ref is tied up with the Jocks! What's going on? Leon and Diontray are attacking Brawley!! They set him up.. Spiked piledriver! Leon draps heidi over Brawley! Superef turns around as the Fumbuckers slide out! 1..2..3! Heidi wins!

SW: Nooooooooooo!!!

SSS: The fans are going to kill us! Heidi will not have to strip!

SW: But, uh.. Brawley will..

SSS: And the Fumbuckers are in the ring, letting him know about it! Leon's even got a Polaroid camera! Brawley's enraged! He's waving at someone down the aisle.. and here come the skanks! They're in the ring.. and a huge brawl is erupting! The Skanks, the Jocks and the Fumbuckers.. and wait...

SW: Can I do this one..

SSS: Well... just this once..

SW: And here come the champs!

BW: Nicely done, brother!

SSS: "Cold Stone" Steve Roberts and Mike "The Hammer" Collins are in the ring! Eight men are slugging it out now! This is mayhem! Wait a minute! Superef is calling for the bell.. you know what this means?

SW: We've got a four-way dance for the titles?

SSS: We've got a.. oh, you did know what it means. All eight men are pummelling each other mercilessly! What are the rules here? Will one pin finish the match? Is it elimination style? Anyone know?

BW: Don't ask me, brother, I just work here.. Wh..

SSS: Chop by Leon.

BW: ..oooo!

SSS: Supes finally gets roberts and diontray out of the ring.. Barry gets drop-kicked out by Leon.. and Carl X and Loomis are out on the apron, hitting each other. Brawley better get them focused again.. meanwhile Garry and Collins lock it up! Arm-drag take down from Garry! Collins regains his vertical base and and gets a knee lift from leon!

SW: The ref can't control this! Check out the action outside the ring! Diontray found the box of hardcore props(tm) under the ring! He smashes that pre-cut broom over Barrys cranium!

SSS: A broom? This is Barnyard Blitzkrieg! Get creative guys! Oh, that's better... a pre-cut rake! Leon destroys it over Loomis the viles' back! Barry has an aluminum milking pail! He looks for a target.. and Roberts will fit the bill quite nicely! Look at that aluminum warp as he drops Roberts with it!

BW: Heads up! Garry just got backdropped ova tha top rope inta his own partna!

SSS: The more i hear you talk, boogie, the less I understand.. There's too much action to call here! Roberts bulldogs leon into the steps! Garry powerslams Leon! Carl and Loomis are still shoving each other around.. Brawley just can't get them focused! In the ring, Diontray has Collins in the corner...

BW: Whoooo!

SSS: Oh, great.. Just tell us when he stops chopping him, Boogie...

BW: Whoooo!... whoooo!... whoooo!... whoooo!... whoooo!... whoooo!... ... ...

SSS: Is it ov..

BW: Whoooo!

SSS: ...ver? Good! Brawley is in the aisle.. who's he waving to? Oh, good lord! The two Spanish girls with acoustic guitars(tm)!! They're coming down the aisle! J.C Brawley is getting out the heavy artillery!

1st sgwag: Kum-by-ya, my lord.. kum-by-ya...

2nd SGWAG: OLE!

SSS: AND THE SKANKS HAVE SNAPPED! Look at them go to work! Powerbombs and pump-handle slams! Bodyslams and backdrops! Leon gets piledriven into a chair! Garry is clotheslined out of his shoes! The Skanks are cleaning house.. and they've got Roberts! They drag him into the ring! Huge double headbutt! Carl covers.. 1..2....3!!!

*** Bell Rings

Bubba: Here is your winners.. and NEWWWWWWWW Tag Team Champions.. THE BARBADOS SKANKS!

SSS: The Skanks are the new champs! Unbelievable! Especially since Brawley said they were quitting the WWF right after the Pay-per-view! What will happen now? Will the Skanks forfeit the belts? Will he reconsider? Will they just leave and take the belts with them?

BW: So, like, why are you askin' us, brother?

SSS: Force of habit. Anyway, the brawl is still in progress, so let's head over to the Cow Pasture for our next match! It's the Cow Pasture Hoe-down for the NQGETBWC Title! Sillicone M. Plants, vs the Domino!

SW: Now, what exactly is a Cow pasture hoe-down anyway?

SSS: Beats me. But let's go to our Special Guest Ring Announcer and Square dance Caller, JIM DANDY!

[We cut to a Cow pasture. A wrestling ring has been set up inside it. A small stage nearby has a country and western band on it, along with a group of line dancers. The band begins to play a hoe-down, sung by a balding man in a sequinned shirt.]

"Welll, howdy everbody, now listen up to me,
Theres a guy coming down the aisle and his name is SMP.
And comin' right behind him, there is the Domino,
So somebody should ring the bell, and we'll start the show!"

***Bell Rings

"Now Plants is gonna start it with a right cross to the jaw,
But the Domino he takes it and he comes right back for more.
Plants is giving lefts and rights, he just can't be stopped,
Until he went and missed one and he got atomic dropped!"

"Now Domino is stompin', on Mr SMP,
And that standin' side kick, she looked purty good to me.
He's going for a suplex, that's gotta take some guts,
But SMP reversed it and he kicked him in the nuts!"

"Plants is going strong now, he gives a chop or two,
And that guy down at the table, well he keeps on yellin' WHOO!
And there's a nice neckbreaker, Plants is def-nit-ly on top,
And now he isn't chopping, well I wish that guy would stop!"

BW: WHOO!

[The band changes from a hoe-down to square dance music. The dancers are doing a wild boot-scooting boogie by now.]

"Well, take that doctor, do-si-do
Slap his face and stomp his toe!
Tilt-a-whirl backbreak, round and round,
Slam his carcass to the groud!"

"Alamen left, alamen right!
All in the middle for a big fistfight!"

[The band goes into a manic version of "Turkey in the Straw". The line dancers continue to scoot their boots. The match? Well, lots of things are happening in the ring.. use your imagination! Do I have to do everything here? Anyway, the music suddenly takes a sharp left-turn into a country-tinged rap.]

"Now Plants takes over in this see-saw thing,
As they go at it hard in the 'rassling ring.
Leg-drops, big chops, Punchin' hard!
Now can Plants play his trump card?"

Line Dancers: Everbody Scream!
Everybody scream!
Everybody scream for SMP!

"But D-mans back, and he's rallyin' fast,
How long is this sucker going to last?
This match here, just aint too funny,
Lastin' longer than that damn Bunny!"

Line Dancers: Now say YO!
Now say Yo!
Now say Yo for the Dom-in-no!

"Plants in charge, he's a real live wi-ya!
Goin' for big death valley Driva!
Looked pretty good from here to me,
Ref goes to count... and he counts to THREE!"

Line Dancers: One, two , three!
One, two, three!
One two three for SMP!

Everybody: YEAH!

***Bell Rings

[We cut back to The announce table.]

SSS: Interesting. Let's go to Bubba for the official word.

Bubba: Here is your winner.. and NEWWWWWWWWWW "NQGETBWC" champion.. S.M.P!!!

SSS: You heard it folks.. The Ego from Beyond the Stars is our new Not Quite Good Enough to be World Champ Champion! What consequences will this have on the WWF?

SW: We'll probably have to build lots of extra-wide doors to accomodate his head...

SSS: Well, that's as maybe, but there's things to do and people to be, so let's pop the top off another one and get jiggy with it down in the barnyard!

SW: What the hell are you talking about, Sammy?

SSS: To tell the truth, I have no idea. Let's get up to Bubba!

Bubba: The Following contest is scheduled for one fall. Yeeha. In the ring at ths time.. "HANDSOME" HANK HAWKINS!

[The crowd boos.. and in some cases, moos.]

Bubba: And his opponent.. with his manager, "I Can't Believe It's Not Butterbean".. OINGO BOINGO!

SSS: Well, here comes the three-armed Oingo Boingo to the ring.. wait a minute! Someone just jumped out of the crowd! It's ROY D. RAGE! The crowd is going crazy!

Rage: Hey, Oingo. Now you and I both know you're here to do the big Job to Hawkins. Well, Hawkins! I challenge you right now, with the winner getting that title shot you earned at the Battle Royal! You accept, punk?

Hank: Hey, I beat your cute @ss once.. and I'll be happy to beat it again! Get in here, loverboy!

Oingo: Fine by me. If anyone wants me, I'll be at the bar.

SSS: Rage Leaps into the ring! Here we go!!

SW: Leaps? I thought he was in a wheel-chair after overdosing on his "training formula"?

SSS: Actually, that angle was supposed to begin AFTER this pay-per-view.. But anyway, Rage is in the ring, and he is hammering away on a rather suprised looking Hawkins!

SW: Does Hank realise the "Roy D. Rage" he beat a few weeks ago was actually Derelict Dan in a mask?

SSS: I think he does now! Big Spear! A Facebuster from Rage! Reverse DDT! Release German suplex! The fans are going nuts! Rage slaps on a Full Nelson! He sweeps the legs out from under Hank and faceplants him! Rage is giving Hank a beating! He sends him to the ropes... drops his head.. Sunset Flip! But Rage just drops a fist to Hanks face! Hanks in real trouble now!

BW: Hey, I finally got dis mike workin' again..YEAHHHH, BAYYY-BY!

SSS: Damn. Rage still taking the fight to Hank! Huge Lariat! And another! A third! Hank is reeling! And Rage is going for the Clean and Jerk!!

SW: No way would I want to do EITHER of those things to Hank!

SSS: Hank goes up.. WAyyyy up! And down again! Rage to the ropes and a HUGE Splash! I think it's over! 1..2..3!!! What a victory for the resurgent former Champion!

Bubba: Here is your winner of this squash.. ROY D. RAGGGGGE!!!

SSS: Well, what an incredible return to the squared circle for Rage! And he will indeed be getting a title shot at the next Tornado Tursday Night! And who exactly he'll be facing will be determined right now! Yes! It's time for our Main Event! The Hen-House Rumble! Kamikazie Ken versus Birdboy, who has been keeping out of the spotlight in the last week. Almost an eerie silence from him.

SW: Yeah, I wonder what that was about? A psych-out or what?

[We cut to a shot that is captioned "Last Week". The Pissed Teens, The Domino and Birdboy are standing around a computer, which is belching smoke. A banner behind them reads "TheOtherWWF.com"]

Birdboy: What did you idiots do the computer? I have a web-cast to do!

Tim: Mike spilled a Dr Pepper on it.. huh huh huh...

Mike: Shut up, buttmonkey! You went and put those nachoes in the disk drive!

Domino: That's it, I'm going to play golf. Call me when it's fixed!

[We cut back to the live feed. The ring is set up in extra-large henhouse, with tiered seats around it. A farmer and his wife are standing next to the ring.]

Farmer: I told ya.. if I build it, they will come!

Wife: Okay, okay.. but the baseball field has got to go..

Bubba: Ladies and Gentlemen!! This is our Main Event of the Evening! Title-for-Title.. Introducing first, the WWF "YGBCIADT" Champion.. KAMIKAZIEEEE KEN!!

[From outside the henhouse comes the sound of a motorcycle revving up. Seconds later Ken races down the aisle on a souped-up Honda. He drives up a ramp, attempting to jump into the ring. He misses by nearly ten feet, landing in the ninth row. Fortunatly, no-one is in this area, as the fans saw Ken's practise jumps earlier and got to a safe distance.]

Bubba: And his opponent.. the WWF Heavyweight Champion... BIRRRDBOY!!!

[Birdboy makes a much more sedate entrance, shaking hands and signing autographs on the way down the aisle. He even stops to move a few chickens out of harms way before entering the ring.]

SSS: Well, Birdboy is in the ring now.. Ken still struggling to get out of the tangle of chairs at ringside. Birdboys going out to help. He hops over the barricade and drags Ken out of the rubble.. and slams him into the barrier! What the Hell?

BW: YEAH BABY! Neva let an advantage slip away, thass whut I say!

SSS: Birdboy folds up a steel chair.. and blasts Ken with it! Ken tumbles over the barricade and into the ringside area! Birdboy leaps onto the barrier and launches himself! Head-scissors takedown! Birdboy very agressive today! He introduces Ken into the ringpost!

SW: Birdboys pulling out all the stops! Looks like a big clothesline coming up.. NO! Ken ducks and backdrops Birdboy onto the steps! He telegraphed that one!

SSS: Ken is going under the ring apron.. and he's got a 50 pound bag of chicken feed!

Ken: Have a snack, Birdboy!

BW: WHOA! Thass feedin' the birdies, brother!

SSS: Birdboy looks dazed! He staggers away from Ken, chicken feed spilling everywhere! Ken leaps onto the apron! Running Bulldog off the apron, right onto the dirt floor! He drags Birdboy to his feet. Big hurricanrana on the floor! Ken heads into the ring, for the first time in the match! Birdboy follows him...

***Bell Rings

SSS: ...and I guess this match is officially underway! Ken meets Birdboy on the way in.. whip to the ropes... Double High Cross Body Blocks! Both men go down hard! Birdoy landed over Ken..1..2.. NO! Just got the shoulder up. Birdboy plants Ken with a side suplex! Off the ropes.. kneedrop! He's making the sign for the Fly Away! Can he do it? Here it comes! OH! Ken kips up, catches him in mid-air and turns it into a powerbomb! Cover by Ken.. 1..2..Kickout by the Champ! What a match!

BW: WHOOO!

SW: WHOOO!

SSS: Don't you start, Scotty. Ken hefts Birdboy up for a double-round-the-world-backbreaker! With a twist! Ken to the ropes.. split-legged moonsault! Another cover.. and another kickout! And Ken goes to the top. What will the Hard-Core Luchador(TM) do here? Oh, my! he's putting on his blindfold!! Could it be the Suicide Squadron? If he hits this, forget about it! WAIT A MINUTE! A chicken just flew out of nowhere and is pecking Ken!

SW: A flying chicken? Since when?

SSS: You're right.. wait a minute! That's not a chicken!!! It's Mr Pecker, Birdboys' Blue Jay manager, disguised as a chicken! Ken loses his balance... OH! He straddles the rope! That had to hurt!

SW: Birdboy is up.. and he's dragging Ken back into the ring.. whip to the ropes... Ken ricochets back.. BIG DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! They're both down!

SSS: SupeRef drops down for the count! Both men have an arm over each other! !..2..3!!! It's over! I think!

***Bell Rings

SSS: It is over.. but who won? Both Ken and Birdboy had the cover.. we need a descion here..

Bubba: *ahem*... Here is the official descion.. Ladies and gentlemen.. your NEWWWWW Heavyweight Champion.... KAMIKAZIEEEEEE KEN!!!.. and.. Your NEWWWWWW "YGBCIADT" Champion... BIRRRRDBOYYYYYY!!!!

SW: They won each others belts? Sheesh, what a screwjob ending! Why don't they just shake hands and hug so we can all go home with a bad case of the warm fuzzies?

SSS: And thats exactly what they're doing! And listen to the fans Mark Out... Well, It's been a spectacular night.. so for Hall-of-Famer Boogie Woogie and Scotty Whatbody, I'm Sammy "Sellout" Smith, saying thanks for ordering "Barnyard Blitzkrieg"! So long, everybody!


© 2004 BOB Home Video! 1999 Whatever Wrestling Federation

 

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Brawlers On a Budget is an online fantasy parody wrestling sports entertainment federation (or e-fed) designed to be somewhat funny.

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