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BOB March Mayhem 2003 Logo

March April May June JULY Mayhem continues
The I Don't Give A Fuck Anymore version

OOC Note: OK, I finished my homrework, but than I fynd out u guyz arnt rping. So no reszults fo u guyz. Thiz is al u get.

/END OOC NOTE.

So, to Boston we go. For the great opening match with your talking heads, Mike Monroe and Scotty Whatbody. A lot of fighting and stuff. We get a hookaroonie. Little Good knocks him out with a big sloppy punch. LG advances. Bloody hell.

And then there was the East with Tom and Crow. Their match? Albert DeSalvo against Stinkbutt Nastyass. DeSalvo dominates the match. Power moves. Technical moves. He was in control. But he forgot one thing. YOU CAN'T POWERBOMB STINKBUTT NASTYASS AND NOT GET A FACE FULL OF GAS. DeSalvo just kicked out at two. But DeSalvo locked on his finisher, whatever it is. And he passes out, but DeSalvo gets the win. Goodbye Nashville, pussy.

Back to Boston and over to Tom and Crow. Yes, this was a really well pulled off pre-tape. Ever heard of overdubbing? Anyhow. We got a HOOOOOOO and a Ho, BVD and Sarah The Jobber Slayer. I only say that cuz BVD calls Sarah a ho. Anyho, we have banana peels and flagpoles get involved, but Sarah takes a bad tumble out to the floor and plays dead. She gets counted out. BVD celebrates. Sarah gets up and in. She kicks BVD so hard he flies backward over the top rope. Glass ceiling girl refuses to put over any jobbers.

OK, let's go to Tampa and get things on track...with Tom and frigging Crow. Oh wait, didn't I book this stuff and arrange the schedule? I was ONLY FOLLOWING YAHOO! SPORTS' GUIDELINES! HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN THAT IT WOULD TURN OUT LIKE THIS. BIGBOSS HAS TO PAY FOR IT, WHAT DO I CARE.

Alright, so we had Seth Harker and RVD in a match that was definitely the best match of March Mayhem 2003. And that's not Shill mode. These guys actually wrestled each other, hitting all sorts of high-flying moves. But since they didn't RP, I don't care and they get no huge summary. Needless to say, it was a damn near 4-star match, thus making it the best in BOB history as well. Oh, right, RVD won. Score one for Germany and zero for Parts Unknown. Big upset. Harker and bots not happy at all. Two of the three iAd members are gone.

Back to Nashville, we have The Commentator and Nurse Heidi ready to call...Brandon vs. Nurse Heidi. Crap, all Commentator talking. Just what we need. Brandon and Heidi have a chat, no doubt Brandon trying to convince her to lay down. And Heidi, obviously takes it wrong. So they begin brawling? Sure. Heidi does the flipping twisting elbow smash to Brandon in the corner. Brandon, well, smacks that bitch and Russian leg sweeps her into a school boy thingee. 1, 2, 3. Man wins, surprise, surprise.

We stay in the south, but go to Birmingham. Ah, I get it, Detached Narrator can zap everyone anywhere, is that it?

[It saves on airfare.]

Speaking of DN, he's fighting Dude Whose A Dead Ring for Clinton. DN, well, dominates. The Commentator: Detached Narrator has Clinton running like a dog scalded by barbecue sauce dripping off a government mule with educated feet. What can I add to that, other than saying Narrator wins.

Tampa. Crap, more Commentator and Heidi. Another almost president, with Nixon fighting the Next Big Thingee Dustbuster Boy. You ready for an upset? Who would that be in your mind? Oh right, how about that match. Nixon with some cheating and then denying he's cheating. Nixon hits DB in the face with a tape recorder as DB tries to hit the Big Suck. Nixon crawls out and pins Dustbuster Boy. And advances for the upset.

MAIN EVENT TIME! Thank God. Hardcore JJ. Insano Mano. You wouldn't ever expect this match, but here it is, nonetheless. Nashville the plce. Mike and Scotty with the call. Mano is nowhere to be found. Then he's spotted crouching behind the Flimsy Guardrail. The camera focused on him, and Mano sighed and hopped over. JJ comes out to a big pop and cookie jars smashing. JJ leads with the brawl to punches below Mano's waist. But Mano recovers with a suicide somersault spin kick thingee. Mano heads up top. Double asai moonsault (I guess), but JJ was long gone by the time Mano landed. JJ showed Insano his own insane hands. But Mano picks up JJ and heads to the top rope. Asai moonsault fallaway slam type thingee. Friggin Mano with his dumb Spanish moves. Mano is back up top again. 450 headbutt? That was rather strange to see. Mano goes BACK up top. JJ is up. He runs over. He tries for a slam, but he can't reach Mano. He climbs on the first rope. Still no. JJ punches Mano in the nuts. JJ DROP FROM THE TOP ROPE (sort of).

Pin.

Say goodbye. And trust me, this Reader's Digest version is saving you time.


© 2003 BOB Wrestling. No, I'm, not sorry.

 

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