Brawlers On a Budget > Episodes > Send Us Money: Leader Of The Pack
Graphic Flatulence, Stinkbutt Nastyass & Urine
vs.
Kamikazie Ken, Insano Mano & Soem Guy In A Mask
  
  
NH: The following contest is the opening match of tonight’s six-man tag team tournament!
[“Rose Garden” by Lynn Anderson plays.]
NH: Introducing first, forming tonight as The Smelly Team… Graphic Flatulence, Stinkbutt Nastyass & Urine!
SW: Oh shit, we’ve opened up a can of worms now.
TC: This team is greasier than a slug in heat and twice as fragrant.
SW: Hey, I’m the greasy one here! What am I, chopped liver to you?
TC: You’re not greasy, just seedy.
Styles: Not to mention an alcoholic. How many bottles of wine have you got lined up for this show, Scotty?
SW: Very funny Styles, like I’m magically going to get through a BOB show sober.
[“Little Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass plays.]
NH: And their opponents… Kamikazie Ken, Insano Mano & Soem Guy In A Mask; Grupo Mexicano!
SW: Soem Guy is Mexican?
Styles: And here we go folks, Urine with the sloppiest dropkick in the business knocks Mano down on his butt!
SW: I forgot how crummy a wrestler Urine is.
Styles: As Urine showboats to the crowd he doesn’t see Mano rise to his feet behind him. Graphic and Stinkbutt try to warn him but he gets creamed in the back of the skull with a stiff superkick.
TC: That one had some tabasco sauce on it.
Styles: Urine tries to stand, but tumbles backwards like a puppet with tangled strings to his team’s corner. He holds the back of his head in pain and Stinkbutt tags himself in. Then he lets rip.
SW: Jesus Christ! I can’t take it guys, the smell is too bad!
Styles: Stinkbutt opens a bag of Doritos and stuffs a fistful into his mouth before belching them half chewed in Mano’s face.
TC: Most of the front row can tell they’re jalapeno flavor now.
Styles: Stinkbutt laughs as Mano tries his damndest to wipe the chips off his mask. He flexes his muscles, despite looking like bags of clay, and tries for an eye poke on Mano… but gets blocked three stooges style and kicked in the belly. Mano hops on the ropes and hits a beautiful slingshot back elbow right to the jaw. He opts out of making a cover to tag Kamikazie Ken into the match.
TC: Stinkbutt is a damned bad apple, I hope he gets what’s coming to him.
Styles: Ken steels his nerve against the smell and chops Stinkbutt across the chest. Irish whip and Ken explodes off the opposite set of ropes with a flying headscissors takedown. Stinkbutt rolls to his team’s corner and tags Graphic Flatulence in.
SW: Oh shit, here we go. This guy smells even worse.
Styles: Hip attack connects on Ken, Graphic utilizing his innate farting ability to add some insult to injury. Graphic drags Ken by the wrists toward the turnbuckles and heads to the second rope. Banzai drop coming up… Ken escapes in time and snaps a thunderous dropkick to the side of Graphic Flatulence’s head. 1, 2, and Graphic kicks out. Ken tags in Soem Guy In A Mask.
SW: So who is the Soem Guy behind a mask this time?
TC: Beats me.
Styles: Soem Guy lets out a blood curdling scream and starts pounding Graphic Flatulence with rapid-fire fists to the temple. Graphic uppercuts him in desperation and stumbles across to his corner to tag in Urine.
SW: I’m surprised Urine has any gas left in the tank, he’s usually in danger of having a heart attack just from standing on the apron.
Styles: Soem Guy thinks on his toes and elbows Urine before sending him for the ride with an irish whip. La Filomena kick connects! He leaps to the ropes and hits a picture perfect lionsault. 1, 2, and no! Urine just manages to get the shoulder up.
TC: Urine is seeing stars right now.
Styles: Soem Guy tries to lift Urine to his feet but a hand reaches up and locks him in an iron claw. Urine makes it to his feet and kicks Soem Guy in the ribs so he can tuck him between his legs. Urine hauls the mystery man up for a powerbomb but gets taken down with a hoodancanrana… and Soem Guy keeps his legs locked around the neck and flips his body backwards for a grounded variation of the move… and does the same again to hit an incredibly unorthodox triple hoodancanrana.
TC: That was amazing!
Styles: Lightning doesn’t strike twice however; as Soem Guy stands to catch his breath before going for fourth Urine scoops him up at the knees and drives him into the turnbuckles with a vicious spinebuster. The tag is made to Stinkbutt Nastyass and both men assault Soem Guy with a barrage of sickening boots.
TC: I’ll give credit where credit’s due. These luchadores have thrown everything but the kitchen sink at these stinky individuals and they’re still going hell for leather.
Styles: Referee Vicky Jean forces Urine out to the apron. Stinkbutt roars out as he lifts Soem Guy up over his head with a gorilla press. He takes a few steps towards the center of the ring, showing off his power and strength to the audience. Ken and Mano look at each.
[They both smirk and nod in agreement without even saying a word.]
Styles: Double springboard spinning heel kick takes the big man down, and Soem Guy lands on top of him! 1, 2, and NO! Somehow he managed to kick out!
TC: Now Urine and Graphic Flatulence are muscling their way into the equation.
Styles: Ken and Mano valiantly fight them off; sterero dropkicks send the big men tumbling out through the ropes!
[Soem Guy motions for Ken to exit to the apron.]
Styles: Soem Guy lifts Stinkbutt to his feet and stomps his foot on the canvas before body slamming the big man down hard. He makes the tag to Kamikazie Ken who climbs to the top rope. Ken swings his arms round in circles, points to the sky and salutes before leaping into the air and hitting the 780 Kenton Bomb! Ay mi dios! 1, 2, 3!
NH: Here are your winners… Kamikazie Ken, Insano Mano & Soem Guy In A Mask… Grupo Mexicano! |
