Brawlers On a Budget > Episodes > Send Us Money: Leader Of The Pack

Sanders
vs.
Kobe Gyant, Joe Bananas & douja

NH: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a three on one handicap match with $10,000 dollars a piece up for grabs. Introducing Up In Smoke’s opponent, from Managua, Nicaragua. Weighing in at 187 lbs… Sanders!

[He unbuttons his shirt to reveal a black mesh shirt underneath.]

Sanders: Xing, if you don’t mind. This’ll only take a minute.

[Xing hands him the contents of her arms and he starts to unfold them.]

Kobe: What the hell is that?!

[Sanders hangs the black trenchcoat covered completely with knives, attached to the garment at the handle, over his shoulders and puts his arms through the sleeves.]

douja: DA FUCK?!

[He then pulls a small dagger out of one of the sleeves and motions it across his throat. He then throws the knife at the ring and it sticks into the apron. Up In Smoke jump back.]

Sanders: Are you ready?

Styles: The sponsor of tonight’s show Sanders, seemingly a megalomaniac and a complete psycho, runs to the ring and slides in under the bottom rope. Superkick to Joe Bananas! Enzuigiri to douja! And a judo throw takes Kobe down!

TC: Holy shit, it’s Chuck Norris!

Styles: Kimura armbar applied to Kobe! Joe tries to pull him off but Sanders sweeps him off his feet from his back. douja charges at him with a steel chair. Sanders stands and big boots it into his face!

TC: And Xing Long is just standing with her arms crossed watching this carnage.

Styles: Sanders lifts Kobe by the throat into the air and uppercuts him in the throat. As Joe stands Sanders leaps into the air and almost crushes his windpipe with a knife edge chop. I don’t believe it, he’s cleared the ring!

TC: Up In Smoke is hurt, he’s taking total advantage of all the punishment they’ve sustained throughout this show.

SW: Still, he’s kicking three men’s asses into next week.

Styles: Sanders pulls a serrated blade out of his sleeve and holds Joe up by his dreads. Oh my GYAD! He just cut a chunk of his ear clean off!

Joe: Son of a BITCH!

Styles: Sanders wipes the blood onto that knife covered coat and throws the blade into the audience.

SW: I wouldn’t wanna be the guy who tried to catch that.

Styles: douja with a spear, but Sanders brings up the knee in time and douja collides with it. Middle kick to the ribs followed up with an axe kick to the collar bone. Sanders grabs him by the throat and chokeslams him onto his knee!

TC: This Sanders fella is dominating.

Styles: He turns his attention to a dizzy Kobe Gyant.

Sanders: For you.

Styles: He grabs him by the back of the head, runs to the corner and smashes him face first into the top turnbuckle. Turns round and runs up for another in the opposite corner. Sanders grabs the edges of his coat and does a backflip, slicing Kobe with all those knives in the process.

SW: Who the hell IS this guy?!

Styles: Sanders uses one of the coat’s tails like a whip and slashes it across Joe’s face. He jumps into the air and spins, the flailing coat cutting Joe up all over.

[“Highway To Hell” by Iced Earth plays.]

TC: It’s D-Van!

Styles: D-Van Drudley runs down and clotheslines Xing Long on her ass. He’s getting a table!

TC: Yes!! End this destruction D-Van!

Styles: D-Van slides the table into the ring and drives a gasoline can into Sander’s skull! He helps Kobe up and they set the table up in the middle of the ring.

SW: This is a screwjob!

Styles: Now D-Van is pouring gas onto the table! He lights a match and the table goes up in flames!

TC: Send him to hell!!

Styles: Kobe lights a steel chair on fire and hits Sanders with all his might! Whip to the ropes, 4D THROUGH THE TABLE! 1, 2, 3!

NH: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners… Kobe Gyant, Joe Bananas & douja!

TC: They did it! By gawd did they do it!

Styles: Sanders rolls out of the ring and Xing Long helps put him out. Up In Smoke and D-Van Drudley celebrate in the ring with spliffs all round!

D-Van: So… which one of you guys is gonna split their $10,000 with me?

[Kobe rolls his eyes.]

TC: Up In Smoke is standing tall! They’ve won the tournament and have beaten that evil son of a bitch Colonel Sanders!

[Kobe gets on the mic.]

Kobe: So Sanders, how about that prize money you promised.

[Sanders removes his coat and hands it to Xing Long.]

Sanders: A promise is a promise. I’m an egomaniac, but I know when I’ve been beaten. The prize money is yours.

[The crowd cheers.]

Sanders: Here, allow a few of my other associates to give it to you.

[“Crush” by Pigsty plays.]

Styles: It’s Christian St. Christian! And Jerri Li!

[St. Christian and Jerri sprint down and get climb into the ring as quick as lightning.]

Styles: St. Christian with the steel chain lashes Kobe Gyant and douja! Jerri tackles Joe Bananas and rips the rest of his ear off with her teeth like a fucking wolverine! St. Christian wraps his chain around D-Van’s neck and throws him out over the top rope!

TC: For the love of God!

Styles: Sanders and Xing Long march into the ring. St. Christian releases an unconscious D-Van and helps Jerri kick Up In Smoke right out of the ring.

[Sanders stands in the middle of the ring with an evil smirk on his face. Jerri Li and Xing Long stand either side of him and St. Christian gets down on the floor in front of them like a dog.]

SW: A new Fetish Freaks?

Styles: Fans, thank you so much for joining us tonight, even if the show was paid for with dirty money. I’ve been Mikey Styles along with Scotty Whatbody and The Commentator. Goodnight, and have a great summer!

[The BOB logo appears and we fade to black with the sight of BOB’s newest stable.]

© 2009 BOB Wrestling!